


Your Fave Could Never

by storiesfortravellers



Category: Numbers (Anthropomorfic)
Genre: Anthropomorphic, Crack, F/F, Fandom, Fans, Fluff, History, Humor, Matchmaking, Math, Other, Social Media, the plot is kind of like a Hallmark movie tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-18
Updated: 2017-12-18
Packaged: 2019-02-16 13:31:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13054974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/storiesfortravellers/pseuds/storiesfortravellers
Summary: Zero and One are fighting on social media.Their fans take sides.Zero/One endgame.





	Your Fave Could Never

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Sealgirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sealgirl/gifts).



> For Sealgirl, who requested Zero and One as characters.
> 
> For clarity, @TheOneTheOnly is the social media account for the number one, and @ZeroPointZero is the social media account for the number zero. In general, the anthropomorphic numbers are the ‘verified accounts.’ The others are:  
> @MathHistoryIsFun is all about showing love for math and numbers  
> @FuckYeahNumberLine likes to stir up drama  
> The other numbers (also Verified Accounts) all know and have hung out with Zero and One  
> The other sites are fans of either Zero or One 
> 
> The end notes have the geeking out over math history.

**@MathHistoryIsFun posted:**  
Our new poll on “Favorite Number of All Time” shows that Zero and One are neck and neck! Keep voting! It’s all love, and it’s great to celebrate all the numbers! https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/XQ3WD63 

 

 **@Fuckyeahnumberline replied to @MathHistoryIsFun:**  
Come on, everyone vote! @TheOneTheOnly @ZeroPointZero @Zerofan4infinity @NumberOneFan

 

 **@NumberOneFan replied to @Fuckyeahnumberline:**  
LOL Zero fans can’t get their shit together, everyone knows that, we’re going to take this #WeLoveOneNumber

 

 **@Zerofan4infinity replied to @NumberOneFan:**  
Ever notice how the number one kind of looks like a dick? Just saying. #lookupthewordunit #etymology

 

 **@NumberOneFan replied to @Zerofan4infinity:**  
It’s sweet that Zero fans are so devoted, I guess if you’re just a gaping well of loser nothingness it’s nice to have something to relate to

 

 **@ThirstforZero replied to @NumberOneFan:**  
tfw you never learned to count so you just stop at the first number you learn…. #one_stans_are_basic

 

 **@AllforOneOneforAll replied to @ThirstforZero:**  
Zero is the Justin Bieber of numbers

 

\----

 

 **@MathHistoryIsFun posted:**  
Remember, everybody, one and zero both play essential roles in expressing quantities. We’re all just having some fun! Here’s the link to the poll! https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/XQ3WD63 

\----

 

** @TheOneTheOnly (Verified Account) posted:  **

Zero?

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/155194884@N08/24264881947/in/dateposted-public/)

\----

 

 **@NumberOneFan posted:**  
holy shit that was amazing i didn’t think i could stan One any harder but i do i really do

 

 **@AllforOneOneforAll replied to @NumberOneFan:**  
i LOVE it when celebs throw shade

 

 **@ThereCanBeOnlyOne replied to @AllforOneOneforAll:**  
Strong disagree. We should maintain that wall between fandom and them, or it all goes to shit. But yeah, other than that, that was a pretty epic burn. 

Side note: I would let One destroy me <3

 

\----

** @ZeroPointZero (Verified Account) posted:  **

Trying to do advanced calculations efficiently without a zero in your number system? How’s that gonna work?

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/155194884@N08/25378189008/in/album-72157667709509579/)

\----

 **@ThirstforZero posted:**  
I think this proves our perfect queen has always been the best and continues to be the best

 

 **@Zerofan4infinity replied to @ThirstforZero:**  
Zero is totally spot on, too – what would calculation be without zero? It would be crap!

 

 **@ThirstforZero replied to @Zerofan4infinity:**  
What would any of math be? There would be no calculus without zero, no limits, no conception of the infinitesimal.

 

 **@Descartes replied to @ThirstforZero:**  
Can you imagine what a number line or graph would look like if there were no Zero?

 

 **@Zerofan4infinity replied to @ThirstforZero:**  
No green in roulette, either, lol

 

 **@ThirstforZero replied to @Zerofan4infinity:**  
Seriously, though! 

 

 **@Zerofan4infinity replied to @ThirstforZero:**  
No, totally – and Zero isn’t just a number. She’s spiritual – she’s connected to the embrace of nothingness and absence. 

 

 **@ThirstforZero replied to @Zerofan4infinity:**  
She came about in both Indian and Mayan cultures independently! Your fave could NEVER!

 

 **@Zerofan4infinity replied to @ThirstforZero:**  
And before being a number, there were placeholders to represent zero – all the way back to Sumeria! Our girl is the original. 

 

 **@ThirstforZero replied to @Zerofan4infinity:**  
They called her a cipher/sifr. They BANNED her in Florence but that couldn’t stop her!

 

 **@Zerofan4infinity replied to @ThirstforZero:**  
Nothing could stop her.

 

 **@ThirstforZero replied to @Zerofan4infinity:**  
Fucking right nothing can stop her.

 

 

\----

 **@NumberOneFan posted:**  
Okay, we can all agree that One is crushing it right now, right? That comeback from Zero was pathetic.

 

** @AllforOneOneforAll replied to @NumberOneFan:  **

One: is beautiful, brilliant, perfect

Antis: spews a bunch of crap literally praising a number who is worth Nothing

One: goes on living her best life with no regard to her inferiors

Antis: ONE GOT TOTALLY OWNED WHOOOOO

 

 **@ThereCanBeOnlyOne replied to @AllforOneOneforAll and @NumberOneFan:**  
How is this even a question? I mean, One is a part of our lives in so many ways. SomeONE. AnyONE. ONE-way.

 

 **@NumberOneFan replied:**  
Exactly! It’s FIRST place, not zero-th place. FIRST to comment. FIRST to walk on the moon. 

 

 **@AllforOneOneforAll replied:**  
One Direction!

 

 **@ThereCanBeOnlyOne replied:**  
Sure. 

Also: Unity. Unions. UNICORNS!!!

 

 **@NumberOneFan:**  
The individual! What would we be if we were just a big undifferentiated mass? 

 

 **@ThereCanBeOnlyOne replied:**  
There have been tons of cultures with no zero. But every culture that has numbers has a one. It is essential to counting. It is essential to understanding anything!

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/155194884@N08/25384773288/in/dateposted-public/)

 

 **@RomanEmpire replied:**  
Agreed. Nobody really needs zero, anyway! #MMXVII

 

 **@Zenobia replied:**  
Fuck the Roman Empire.

 

 **@ThereCanBeOnlyOne replied to @Zenobia and @RomanEmpire:**  
Why are you two even in our mentions?

\----

 

 **@TheOneTheOnly (Verified Account) posted:**  
Been busy! (unlike some numbers whom I won’t name, but we all know they’re unreliable) I’m doing double duty on the Fibonacci sequence, and I’m a sure thing over in probability. 

 

 **@ZeroPointZero (Verified Account) replied to @TheOneTheOnly:**  
Sorry I took so long to reply, I’ve been busy helping the partial computable functions with their Turing degree. 

Also: ADDITIVE IDENTITY. Enough said.

 

** @TheOneTheOnly (Verified Account) replied to @ZeroPointZero:  **

Multiplicative identity. Enough said.

 

 **@ZeroPointZero (Verified Account) replied to @TheOneTheOnly:**  
Yeah, good slam, One.  
Or should I just call you “.99999999…”

 

 **@TheOneTheOnly (Verified Account) replied to @ZeroPointZero:**  
How’s that division working out for you, bud

 

 **@ZeroPointZero (Verified Account) replied to @TheOneTheOnly:**  
Working out great. I like being on top. 

\----

 

 **@FuckYeahNumberLine posted:**  
Whoa this is getting UGLY, this is so awesome

\----

 

 **@e_andmyallnaturallog (Verified Account) made a Private post to 2718 friends:**  
e here with the best gossip, as always. so I was having lunch with pi and the square root of negative one, and we were talking about the fave number poll of course, and yeah, this sounds like sour grapes since all of us are losing bad to one and zero lolol

but pi and the square root of negative one told me that all this drama between zero and one is cuz way back when, one and zero dated for like two months I SHIT YOU NOT

but then it all fell apart and they’ve hated each other ever since

and that’s the tea

 

\----

 **Direct Message from @ThereCanBeOnlyOne to @NumberOneFan:** Whoa did you read what e said?

 

 **Direct Message Reply from @NumberOneFan:** inorite!

 

 **Direct Message Reply from @ThereCanBeOnlyOne:** I mean I like hating on Zero as much as the next person, but honestly that story makes me so sad. Do u think it’s true?

 

 **Direct Message Reply from @NumberOneFan:** Both One and Zero have been like radio silence since that post, and someone at ohnomathdidn’t confirmed it with pi

 

 **Direct Message Reply from @ThereCanBeOnlyOne:** that really sucks for One. You know One is really soft marshmallow underneath the pointy exterior

 

 **Direct Message Reply from @NumberOneFan:** our little One is smol and soft

 

 **Direct Message Reply from @ThereCanBeOnlyOne:** totally

 

 **Direct Message Reply from @NumberOneFan:** did you read that other stuff though? The hacked emails between between One and Pi and Square root of negative one that came out this morning?

 

 **Direct Message Reply from @ThereCanBeOnlyOne:** no, I don’t read hacked stuff, that’s gross

 

 **Direct Message Reply from @NumberOneFan:** I know, I didn’t read them either. But… I did read an article about the emails.

 

 **Direct Message Reply from @ThereCanBeOnlyOne:** … so did I.

 

 **Direct Message Reply from @NumberOneFan:** It sounds like One really still has feelings for Zero… like, really strong feelings

 

 **Direct Message Reply from @ThereCanBeOnlyOne:** We’ve all been there. Feeling like it’s too late, but still feeling… you know.

 

 **Direct Message Reply from @NumberOneFan:** Zero stans are probably so fucking happy right now, those a-holes

 

 **Direct Message Reply from @ThereCanBeOnlyOne:** actually I’m friends with @ohhhmeanszero, and she says Zero fandom is really worried. Zero would normally be joking about stuff like this but Zero’s not responding to anyone right now, even her rl friends

 

 **Direct Message Reply from @NumberOneFan:** you’re friends with a Zero fan?????

 

 **Direct Message Reply from @ThereCanBeOnlyOne:** we’ve been friends since the geometric period when we both stanned parallel lines, okay???? Not everything is about fucking fandom geez

 

 **Direct Message Reply from @NumberOneFan:** sorry, sorry, just kidding. mostly. But yeah, I wish there was something we could do for One. She’s given us so much over the years.

 

 **Direct Message Reply from @ThereCanBeOnlyOne:** actually, @ohhhmeanszero was saying that there was some talk about maybe working together to host a fan-run Con and doing like a One and Zero panel or something. Like just to encourage peace

 

 **Direct Message Reply from @NumberOneFan:** like so the breakup is amicable

 

 **Direct Message Reply from @ThereCanBeOnlyOne:** yeah

 

 **Direct Message Reply from @NumberOneFan:** it’s not like we’re matchmaking. It’s just peacemaking. That’s all it would be.

 

 **Direct Message Reply from @ThereCanBeOnlyOne:** okay, we totally ship Zero and One now, don’t we?

 

 **Direct Message Reply from @NumberOneFan:** of course we do. But they’re their own numbers. We won’t push. We’ll respect boundaries. We’ll just give them both the opportunity to come to a con and see each other, and if either declines, we’ll respect that.

 

 **Direct Message Reply from @ThereCanBeOnlyOne:** yes, we will respect that calmly and with grace and understanding

 

 **Direct Message Reply from @NumberOneFan:** of course, if they do get together fandom is going to lose its collective shit ☺

 

 **Direct Message Reply from @ThereCanBeOnlyOne:** I’M SO EXCITED WHEN DO WE START

\----

 

Zero got to NumeracyCon an hour early, but when she got to the Green Room, One was already there.

“Hey,” Zero said. 

“Hey.”

She sat down on the opposite sofa, and there was a long, awkward silence.

“Look,” Zero said, “I want you to know I had nothing to do with the hacked emails.”

One nodded. “I know.”

“You do?”

“You’d never do something like that. I know you better than that.”

Zero stared for a second, wanting to say more. But nothing came to mind.

After another awkward silence, One said, “Thanks for agreeing to do this. I think it means a lot to the fans.”

“Definitely. I mean, my fans have been so good to me.”

“My fans are great, too,” One said pointedly.

“I know. It’s not a contest.”

“Right.”

Another silence.

“You want to know something funny?” Zero said, finally.

“Okay…”

“People keep asking me why we broke up. And I don’t have a good answer. I think… maybe I don’t know either.”

One seemed thoughtful. “I don’t know. I guess it got so intense for a while there. Especially with the computer age, and then the Internet. One and zero, you and me, dancing around each other like a whirlwind again and again, all over the world, and it was just all so _fast._ Maybe it was just too much togetherness all at the same time.”

“Maybe,” Zero said. “But when we broke up, I just…. I mean, when I lost you, I felt so negative.”

“But it was inevitable, wasn’t it? We stand for completely opposite things,” One said sadly.

“Do we? I feel like there’s more continuity between us than you realize.”

“You always were the analytical one.”

Zero sighed. “Well, I’m glad we’re at least getting to talk. I mean, whatever happened in the past, I know I owe a lot to you. I wouldn’t be here without you – you paved the way for all of us.”

“No. I just got recognition first. You were always there, doing the work. I always respected that. I guess I just… never said it.”

“I feel like there are a lot of things we never got the chance to say,” Zero said, leaning forward a little.

One gave her a smile, that sweet little smile that made you feel like you’re the only thing in the world. 

“Maybe after the panel, we can go for a drink.”

“I’d like that.”

\--

_One year later:_

 

** @TheOneTheOnly (Verified Account) posted:  **

Love isn’t just one thing. It’s countless little things, every day. I’m so grateful to be engaged to my one true Zero.

 

** @ZeroPointZero (Verified Account) posted:  **

I know now that love isn’t a zero sum game. It’s a complex relationship with infinite possible permutations. I’ve never been happier, and I’m especially happy I get to share my life with One. Thank you One, for your love, your clarity, and your uniqueness!

 

** @NumberOneFan posted:  **

I’m not crying you’re crying

 

** @ZeroFan4Infinity replied to @NumberOneFan:  **

protect these smol beans at all costs

**Author's Note:**

> This fic combines features of a couple of different social media platforms.
> 
> I don't have a good explanation of why I made Zero/One a f/f pairing. I just liked imagining them that way.
> 
> Other notes:
> 
> *The other numbers included are a reference to Euler's identity: e^iπ+1=0. 
> 
> *Continuity is usually studied in the branch of mathematics called Analysis.
> 
> *An awesome book that deals with the history of zero and what it means for gender and feminism in the digital age is Sadie Plant's _Zeros + Ones: Digital Women and the New Technoculture._ It also talks about Ada Lovelace, globalization, and lots of other stuff in a fun creative-nonfiction style.
> 
> *Other websites with interesting information and further references to the history of numbers are:
> 
> http://www.bbc.com/future/story/20161206-we-couldnt-live-without-zero-but-we-once-had-to
> 
> https://www.newscientist.com/article/2147450-history-of-zero-pushed-back-500-years-by-ancient-indian-text/
> 
> https://www.smithsonianmag.com/history/origin-number-zero-180953392/
> 
> https://yaleglobal.yale.edu/history-zero
> 
> https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/history-of-zero/
> 
> http://www-history.mcs.st-and.ac.uk/HistTopics/Zero.html
> 
> https://www.livescience.com/27853-who-invented-zero.html


End file.
